Something casual, so sure
Something I have never known before
I don't want to go
(What was I saying the first time around?
What was I thinking?
What was I saying?)
There is a sick grace inherent in healingIt's like peeling off my skin
It's like feeling everything for the first time
Like it's finally sinking in
(What was I saying the first time around?)Upstairs through the dark and stars and out the other side
Sat a foot apart until the sun would rise
Something so sudden and so good
I never expected that we could
My god, I don't want to know
(What was I feeling the first time around?
What was I trying to do?
What was I trying to prove?)
There is a sick grace inherent in healing
I had finally choked that down
(What was I trying to get you to approve the first time around?
What was I doing the first time around?)First I was softer, then I was stronger
Now I am frightened, would you look at me now?
How long will I have you? Who am i to speak of permanence?
I'll be fifty in the book of names but goddamn it
I'll be the last on the list
Someday I'll stop begging you of who and howFirst I was stronger, then I was softer
Now I am frightened, look at me now
Somehow we managed to make it this far
Seems now everything has changed
I don't want to know
(What was I saying the first time around?
What was I thinking?
What was I doing the first time around?)It's never what I am
It's only what they were
I don't want to know
